How is it that you can long so much for something yet once it comes within reach you can’t help but run? You wish you had someone who truly loved you, someone you could trust, feel at home with, someone who will hold you with all their might and never let go, yet as soon as you get close you shut down and run the opposite way. Away to someone who would never give you a second thought, views you as an option, because thats where you feel comfortable. How is it that I’m more comfortable having sex with a person who feels nothing for me over someone who actually cares? I want to care, take down my wall, but I can’t. I think I’ve experienced so much hurt that I’m permanently numb, and my heart and mind won’t allow me to open up again. To risk that hurt because there has never been a time that I have brought down that wall and not had someone take advantage of that and break me down all over again.